276 words

He had a quizzical look on his face. The raised eyebrow, the inquisitive stare, the slightly cocked head, the asymmetrically puckered mouth. He had been here before with the likes of Pete.

“So, you want a prison day release pass to visit your ailing grandmother?”

“Yes please.”

“Tell me about her.”

“Well, she’s old and ailing.”

“Could you elaborate on that.”

“Nope, not really.”

“You aren’t giving me much to work with.”

“Sorry.”

“I said…”

“No, I meant I’m sorry not to be able to collaborate.”

“I think you mean elaborate.”

“Yeah, collaborate.”

The probation officer sighs.

“So, can I go now?”

“Yes, you can leave the room.”

“No, I meant can I go and visit my ailing grandmother now?”

“I need to think about it.”

“Well, don’t take too long, she is very ailing.”

“I’ll think about it. I’ll let you know as soon as possible.”

“OK. Oh, by the way. How is your own ailing grandmother?”

“How did you know I have a grandmother who is ailing?”

“My mate, he works in the hospital. He helps give her her medication. He’s very careful about the dose he gives. Too little, she suffers. Too much, goodnight Vienna. Just saying.”

The prisoner looks at the probation officer, quizzically.

“One ailing grandmother deserves another, don’t you think?”

The probation officer hesitates.

“I think….I think….you should indeed visit your ailing grandmother.”

The prisoner smiles. “Cheers mate, you’re a mensch!”

“You are welcome. Oh, by the way, what’s your friends name, the one who works in the hospital?” “A friend of mine who works in a hospital? You must be mistaken. I don’t have any friend who does that.”